Hidden opportunities all around us
Community offers, needs, and dreams
Everyday mutual aid
Looking back at my own work in community care and organizing, mutual aid is almost always the driver of new relationships.
Faced with crisis and injustices, communities over the course of human history have turned to mutual aid. Solidarity, not charity. They have showed up for one another, working together to produce and provide what neighbors need – while at the same time asking why the system (for jobs, food, healthcare, shelter, emergency response, etc.) isn’t working and how things might be different.
In response to our present conditions, we can imagine everyday mutual aid that helps form the relationships we need to survive and thrive.
What might we offer each other?
Our first observation is that there are tremendous assets that are trapped right now – hidden by American culture, individualist mindsets, and atomized daily experiences. We have so much to offer one another. I believe wholeheartedly that everyone I meet has something important to offer me, and others.
Sometimes what we can offer is what we already do for the people we’re close to, something we might extend to others. What would your closest friend say you’re best at? Would it be okay if we asked them?
Sometimes it’s a hidden gift, a superpower, that you are planning to unleash in the apocalypse but you really should try right now!
Sometimes it’s something we practiced in other environments that we might offer freely to our community. By freely, we mean moved by yourself or un-coerced. Think of lawyers providing legal aid and chefs contributing to a shared meal.
And sometimes it’s overflow, something you don’t need right now and wonder if others could use. These things are stuck in our individual lives, but needn’t be — simple experiments like BuyNothing groups have proven this out, despite their challenges.
“What can you offer your community?” is a very different question than, “Which of your skills are valued by employers?” It speaks to our whole selves.
What do we need right now?
A second observation: I have very little idea about what most of my neighbors really need today. I’m saddened and humbled by this reality. It’s an honest starting point for this work.
Many of us sense that our current systems are failing to meet our needs – such as care, friendship, rest, wisdom, secure housing, healthy food, safety, and conversation, to name a few! We see red flags if we evaluate our economic system by its ability to meet our needs.
“What do you need?” can be a hard question to ask directly. It can be difficult to answer on-the-spot, too. But, context matters – I’ve been amazed by how doulas show up for families, build trust, and discover real needs. We are also inspired by ongoing experiments in process, like the Offers and Needs Market by the Post Growth Institute, which creates transformational spaces and experiences for its participants.
What are we all dreaming about?
“What are you dreaming about these days?” is another unfamiliar or abstract question. But it doesn’t need to be this way!
Dreams might be a clean walking path, exploring a new career path, or learning how to surf. Their potential grows when they’re shared with others. Dreaming in public inspires others to act and ask questions. Dreams come alive when they get together – ideas frolicking, becoming friends, transforming, and inspiring new visions. They help us imagine how our worlds might evolve.
Because they lift our heads up, dreams spark curiosities and wonderings. One of my mentors, Dr. Niobe Way, taught me that listening with curiosity to what others care about is a sacred and highly effective practice. If we’re talking about what you’re dreaming about, and I’m listening with curiosity, I bet we’re going to be more connected at the end of our first conversation.
And of course, our offers, needs, and dreams are related. A dream meets an offer meets a group of needs. These questions all tap into the abundance in our communities, helping to get important things flowing again in our shared circulatory system.
Care and purpose
In the first post, we introduced a care-first approach to social connection. We’ve now covered what do we actually mean by “care”!
We believe the coming together of un-coerced offers with true human needs and aspirations in relational interactions will feel like care. By “relational”, we mean that people and relationships are the first priority and what’s exchanged is secondary. Importantly, on the other side of these interactions, this will feel like purpose.
We believe this is the care economy. It’s not the next sliver of care work getting sucked into normal, extractive systems – it’s a robust, everyday economy that revolves around meeting human needs (without overshooting planetary boundaries). Care and purpose as a bright sun.
So, what are we building?
We plan to help surface offers, needs, and dreams so we can make meaningful connections between people.
We need something that will puncture the day-to-day with surprisingly awesome invitations flowing from a community river of possibilities. At first, these shifts will require a special context for them to work. We’ll be trying something new together.
Please expect more details in the coming weeks!
Closing Note of Gratitude
So many people have already responded with beautiful ideas, stories, questions, and intentions to contribute to this work. You all are brilliant and kind, and I’m so grateful.